2024 was a good year in many ways along with some bad things. It’s been a while since I write so I’ll try to write as much as I could. It’s 9:16pm, 25 Dec 2024 and blue by yung kai and beanie by slō, twilight are playing in background.

So, a lot happen in this year, let’s start from highlights. I moved from DSA to development by starting learning Flutter from January and build Ozan which is still under development. So, till April I was just stick to it as my only skill which cost me much now. Yeah, I learned much during this period but I should have start Web Development earlier.

Anyways, during summer break after 4th semester, I had two choices either I start AI/ML or Web. I picked the first one as primary and second as hobby but maybe I’m not build for AI/ML stuff so that hobby became everything. Thank God, I started Web with Vue.js and later picked Nuxt.js which I don’t even remember why, but the later one made me feel good and excited, so I made many sites like Sujood, Miras and other. Then after a month of hype, I started feeling I’m stuck again doing same things while others learning advance stuff like AI/ML, Game Dev etc.

I got depressed because I wasn’t able to do things I wanted. One weird thing about me is that when I don’t know what to do anymore, I build a note taking app. So, I was fascinated about Journal.do app which was only available for MacOS. I tried to ship it for Windows, which was the beginning of fylepad. I spend three days on it and It’s already done hurray. I built Ozan in like months and still feel uncomplete but fylepad was just too quick.

Since then, through many updates in its interface, now its stable and feel complete and is most highlighted project of 2024. I had 0 stars on GitHub in January but today its already 146 mostly on Ozan & fylepad. Still, I was feeling imposter, so I built another product in like two days — Gitfyel which really sucks tbh still it managed to get 140 upvotes on ProductHunt and featured as 6th product of the day. It got mentioned by Daniel roe $($leads the Nuxt core team$)$ on X. I never felt that proud before.

Anyways, after summer break, we get back to University and I wasn’t actively learning and developing anything till October 23, when I got my first remote job as frontend developer. I wasn’t even looking for a job but I did work there for two months. It was a game changer for me in some aspects like I would never learn React or Next.js but I had to learn it for this job.

Within weeks, I was reviewing PRs of all other members and assigning them tasks. I was learning at rapid speed like every day a new challenge for me. Even though it was tiring to work all day and still getting 30k/month, I continued it for almost two months. Then, I quit on 18 Dec because I was so depressed about many things.

Yeah, I regret quitting the job where I could stay and get better chances but it is what it is. I’m again an imposter who sucks in everything. I’m still trying to learn what matters but tbh I got a huge downfall.

If I compare myself to others around me, I can say I’m good. But I wanna to be a prodigy like antfu and other developers out there, they look so cool and I don’t even know what they do and what to do to be like them. I’m just a guy who know some CSS and think he is developer. Still, I won’t give up this early. 2025 gonna be my year Insha’Allah!

I’ll figure out what I need to be and what matters the most for me. I’ll be a design engineer as my first thing and also gonna be a full stack developer building real applications from scratch. I’m gonna crack every technical interview.

Let’s move to my new year resolution. I’ll do things like stay alive, earn a thousand stars on GitHub through multiple new projects, a good job, a trip to mountains and maybe a good startup and also finish Naruto. The only thing I need to work on is discipline, like focusing on a particular thing at a time, eat well and be healthy, please don’t stay skinny another year.

Also, I need to be mentally stable this year, everything is stressing for me right now. I don’t do stuff that makes me feel good like when did you read a book last time? when did you watch a movie in a single attempt? and a lot other things. I’ll go full time lo-fi $($or lowkey?$)$ hopeless romantic $($or hopeful ig?$)$ this year.

It’s Jan 01, 2025, last year I was like sending everyone “Happy new year” and putting stories but this time I’m lowkey just thinking about my own self. It feels like another challenging year for me so I’m trying to be ready for it. I’ll let my intrusive thoughts win and say “this gonna be my year” again.